Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
And then he peed in my hair
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