My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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