He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
