I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
