So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
