I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
