ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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