I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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