My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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