Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
