my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize