Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
worst night to have a conscience
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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