thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
