plz talk dirty to me
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
