We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
