You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
