dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
