Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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