So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Randomize
