her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
