shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
