So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
