but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
