youre lurking in front of me
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
