how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
