my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
