so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
