i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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