He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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