I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
