great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
