Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
