I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I wish I only lived at night.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
