You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
