I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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