stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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