when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
zippers are such a cool invention
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
