this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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