Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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