did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
