The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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