oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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