i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
