then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
