4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I think I died a long time ago.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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