Me too!
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
