need another drink. this is the easiest way
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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