Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
It's just like the Real World with babies
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
