The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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