I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
