we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize